


Impossible

by crieshavoc



Series: The Smile Jar [5]
Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: F/F, Friends to Lovers, Idiots, Slow Burn, ob fics, progeek, the smile jar verse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:29:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28325358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crieshavoc/pseuds/crieshavoc
Summary: The heat goes out in their dorm the first week of December, sophomore year.
Relationships: Rachel Duncan/Cosima Niehaus
Series: The Smile Jar [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2061450





	Impossible

**Author's Note:**

> If it makes any difference in anyone's reading experience, John Mathieson (Westmoreland) is Rachel's step-dad in this verse. I don't know why, but it feels right. Ethan committed suicide after Susan divorced him and took custody of Rachel (only to remarry and send Rach off to boarding school, whatever).

Rachel likes having her own bedroom again. Rachel also likes that Cosima is just across the common room. Their sophomore dorm is significantly nicer than the cramped space they shared the prior year, Rachel thinks. She even likes the artistic photos of city streets and struggling back alley gardens that Cosima’s friend Sarah took – the ones Cosima _insisted_ they put up in their flat-style dorm suite. Rachel and Sarah do not _quite_ get along, but Sarah _is_ talented, and it makes Cosima happy, so Rachel didn’t put up a fight.

The first week of December the heat goes out in their building. They are told it should only be for a few days, but that also means a few _night_ s, in _Ontario_ , in _December_ , with no heat. Certainly there are colder areas of Canada, but it’s cold enough to put Rachel in a bad mood.

“Rach, you have to try to get past it,” Cosima says. She is curled up on their couch in warm sweaters and a heap of blankets. “Come sit with me. Let’s watch a movie.”

Rachel has been pacing behind the couch, complaining about how much _money_ her step-father donates to the school and how _the two of them_ , at least, should be moved to temporary quarters until the heat is fixed.

“Will you please sit down?” Cosima leans over the back of the furniture, resting her chin on her arm, and pouts. _Like a child_.

Rachel _should_ find it immensely annoying. She _doesn’t_ , but that’s beside the point. Rachel huffs in a way that forces her to admit she is, in fact, being dramatic, and she walks around to sit next to her roommate.

Cosima holds open her ‘blanket nest,’ as she’s been calling it, and looks expectantly at Rachel. “Come _on_ , grumpy roomie. What movie do you want to watch?”

Rachel is being _sullen_ , she knows she is, but she isn’t in the mood to be anything _happy_. She rarely is, after all. She curls against Cosima’s side and sighs. “Whatever you want is fine.” She can feel Cosima breathing. She feels Cosima’s arm around her back and Cosima’s hand settle on her waist. Rachel closes her eyes.

Cosima hums under her breath as she flicks through their choices.

They have Netflix, of course. _And_ Hulu Plus, because Rachel doesn’t scrimp on entertainment. She likes to have _options_.

“Hey, Rach?” Cosima drawls the two short syllables.

Rachel _knows_ that tone of voice. “No.”

Cosima laughs, “I didn’t even ask anything.”

Rachel looks up, ignoring how _close_ their faces are. Cosima is _just_ her roommate and her friend. This is their _second_ _year_ living together. She’s not about to make things awkward between them. “The answer is _no_ , Cosima.”

“ _Newsies_? The original, obvs. Please?” Cosima’s wide eyes are _impossible_ to ignore. Cosima is _impossible_ to resist.

“No,” Rachel grumbles again, but she doesn’t object further when her _impossible_ (irresistible) roommate cues up the musical. “Remind me to _maim_ Alison for introducing you to this movie.”

Cosima pulls her closer and grabs a hacky sack off the table next to their couch. She lobs it at the fixture on the wall and cheers as the lights go out. “First try!”

Rachel tries not to laugh, but it’s _impossible_.

-

Rachel almost falls asleep during the movie, which is impressive considering that Cosima sang along.

Cosima is good at _many_ things, but singing isn’t one of them.

Rachel groans when the movie is finished and there’s no reason to stay up any longer. It’s too cold for homework, too cold for parties, too cold for anything, really. Cuddled up with her roommate, the cold is manageable, but now it’s half twelve and really, they should both be in bed. They both have class at ten in the morning.

Cosima hasn’t moved, either, and Rachel isn’t quite sure why.

“Hey, Rach?” Her roommate is quiet now. She sounds sleepy.

Rachel doesn’t lift her head from the dreadlocked brunette’s shoulder. “Yes?”

“Do you want to stay in my room tonight? You know,” Cosima’s hand twitches against Rachel’s side, “since the heat’s out and all?”

Rachel wants to inhale sharply, but she doesn’t. “That makes sense,” she replies.

They don’t move immediately.

Cosima leans forward, her hand sliding against Rachel’s back, and picks up the remote to turn the TV off. She stands and tugs Rachel to her feet, fussing with the blankets. “C’mon,” she whispers, taking Rachel’s hand and leading her, as if Rachel doesn’t _know_ where they’re going.

Rachel shivers as Cosima returns the blankets to her bed. Rachel reaches out and touches Cosima lightly on the arm, “I’m going to get the blankets from my room.”

“Okay,” Cosima nods, heading for her dresser.

Rachel takes longer than she truly needs to fetch the blankets and change into pajamas. Rachel pauses in Cosima’s doorway to ask if she should turn the light off.

“Yeah, just put your blankets on first?” Cosima is already under the covers, wearing a tank top and, Rachel assumes, a pair of her friend Tony’s boxers. Cosima likes to steal them.

Rachel is wearing a t-shirt of Cosima’s, just plain and light blue, and a pair of warm flannel pants, also blue. Rachel wants to take a deep breath before crawling onto the twin mattress _right next to_ Cosima, her _roommate_ , but she doesn’t. She _does_ immediately turn and face away, curling up on the edge of the frame.

Cosima turns as well and wraps her arm, devoid of all the bracelets and rings she wears during the day, around Rachel’s stomach and pulls the blonde backwards a bit, until their bodies press together. Cosima isn’t wearing a bra.

Neither is Rachel, but that’s beside the point. Rachel wants to shudder, but manages not to.

Cosima’s breath is warm on the shell of Rachel’s ear, “Night, Rach.”

Rachel’s covers Cosima’s hand with her own, fingers finding the spaces between her roommate’s. “Goodnight, Cosima.” Rachel’s other hand trails idly across Cosima’s arm, exploring the soft skin she normally wouldn’t have any opportunity to feel. Rachel hopes Cosima doesn’t mind, hopes Cosima would _say something_ if she minded, because the temptation is just _impossible_ to resist.

By how Cosima sighs against her and pulls her even closer, Rachel convinces herself the affection is okay. Rachel convinces herself this behavior is normal, somehow. Rachel hasn’t had many friends, but she still knows better. She _does_ , but until their heat is fixed (four nights later), she allows herself to pretend otherwise.


End file.
